Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand and manage your own emotions, and to recognise and respond to the emotions of others. It’s something everyone has to some degree, and it can grow with practice.
Why it matters
Emotional intelligence can help you handle stress, communicate more clearly and build warmer relationships. It can also make it easier to bounce back after difficult moments.
Four parts of emotional intelligence
Self-awareness
Noticing what you feel and why. Simply naming a feeling, like I’m frustrated or I’m nervous, is a good start.
Self-management
Responding to emotions in ways that fit your values. This might mean pausing before replying to a difficult message.
Empathy
Sensing what others might be feeling. Listening carefully and asking questions can help.
Relationship skills
Communicating clearly, resolving conflicts kindly and offering support to others.
It’s not about being perfect
Everyone reacts strongly sometimes. Emotional intelligence isn’t about never getting upset. It’s about noticing, learning and trying again.
Small ways to practise
- Pause and name your feeling before reacting.
- Listen to a friend without planning your reply.
- Reflect at the end of the day on a moment that stirred strong emotions.
How little is enough
Today, name one feeling you have, and one feeling you notice in someone else.
For more, read Happiness strategies of emotionally intelligent people.
For a quiet place to write your way through this season, you’ll find a guided journal on the Guides page.