Jujitsu is a Japanese martial art whose name is often translated as “the gentle art”. Rather than meeting force with force, it uses balance, flexibility and leverage. This makes it a lovely metaphor for working with negative thoughts.
Instead of fighting your thoughts, you can meet them with softness and skill. Here are three gentle stances.
1. Soften, rather than fight
When a negative thought arises, our first instinct may be to push it away. But fighting thoughts often makes them stronger. Try softening instead. Notice the thought, breathe and let it be there without arguing.
Try this: When a harsh thought comes up, say to yourself, There’s that thought again, and take a slow breath.
2. Hold it still long enough to hear it
Some negative thoughts contain useful information: a reminder, a concern or something you’ve overlooked. Others are simply old habits of self-criticism. Pause long enough to tell the difference.
Try this: Ask, Is there anything useful in this thought? Is there something I need to do? If there is, take one small step. If not, let it pass.
3. Find a smaller, truer thought
Negative thoughts are often extreme: I always fail. Nothing will ever work. Rather than replacing them with forced positivity, look for a thought that’s both kinder and true.
Try this: Change I always mess things up to I made a mistake this time, and I can learn from it.
Practise often
Like any martial art, this takes practice. The more you meet your thoughts with gentleness, the more natural it becomes.
How little is enough
Next time you notice a harsh thought, find one smaller, truer version and say it to yourself.
For more, read how to redirect your negative self-talk.
If writing helps you make sense of change, there’s a short guided journal waiting on the Guides page.