Most of us have an inner voice that comments on everything we do. Sometimes it’s kind and encouraging. Other times it’s harsh: You always mess this up. You’re not good enough. Why did you say that?

You can’t switch your inner voice off, but you can change your relationship with it. Here are eight easy ways to quieten negative internal dialogue.

1. Notice the inner talk

The first step is simply hearing it. Throughout the day, notice when your inner voice becomes critical. You don’t need to argue with it yet. Just notice.

2. Name it

Give the critical voice a name or label: There’s the inner critic again. This creates a little distance between you and the thought.

3. Ask whether it’s true

Gently question the thought. Is this really true? What evidence do I have? What would I say to a friend who thought this?

4. Find one true fact about right now

When your mind spirals, ground yourself in something simple and real: I’m sitting at my desk. I’ve finished two tasks today. The sun is out.

5. Speak to yourself as you would a friend

Many of us talk to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to someone we care about. Try rephrasing your inner talk in the tone you’d use with a good friend.

6. Swap harsh words for kinder ones

Notice words like always, never and should. Try softer, more accurate alternatives: Sometimes I find this hard, instead of I always fail.

7. Write it down

Writing your thoughts on paper can help you see them more clearly. Often they look less convincing in black and white.

8. Spend time with supportive people

Talking with people who are kind and encouraging can help you see yourself more clearly. Their perspective can be a welcome balance to your inner critic.

Be patient with yourself

Your inner critic won’t disappear overnight. Each time you notice it and respond with kindness, you’re building a new habit.

How little is enough

Choose one of these ways to try this week. Notice the difference it makes to how you speak to yourself.

If your inner voice has been very harsh for a long time, please reach out for support; you don’t have to carry it alone.

For more, read 7 ways to clear your mind of negative thinking.

If you’d like to keep exploring, you’ll find a few gentle guides on the Guides page.