Mindfulness is often described as a path to kindness and compassion. So it may come as a surprise that some research has suggested mindfulness doesn’t make everyone more generous. In some cases, it may even make a little difference in the other direction.

It’s a fascinating reminder that mindfulness is a tool, and like any tool, how it affects us depends partly on who we are and how we use it.

“I” and “we”

Some researchers have explored how mindfulness interacts with the way people see themselves. Some of us tend to think of ourselves mainly as independent individuals: I make my choices, I pursue my goals. Others tend to see themselves more in relation to others: we as a family, a team, a community.

Findings suggested that for people with a more “we” focused outlook, mindfulness seemed to increase helpful behaviour. For those with a more “I” focused outlook, it sometimes slightly decreased it. The research is early, and it’s one piece of a much bigger picture, but it raises a thoughtful question.

Why this matters

Mindfulness, at its simplest, is paying attention to the present moment without judgement. That attention can make us calmer, clearer and more focused. But calm and focus can be directed anywhere. If our attention stays only on ourselves, mindfulness alone may not make us kinder.

Many traditional forms of meditation weren’t practised on their own. They were woven together with ethics, compassion and care for others.

Bringing kindness into your practice

If you’d like your mindfulness to help you connect more deeply with others, try weaving in a little warmth:

  • Loving-kindness meditation. After a few minutes of breathing, offer kind wishes to yourself, then to someone you love, then to someone neutral, then to everyone. May you be happy. May you be at ease.
  • Notice others. Bring the same gentle attention to the people around you. What might they be feeling?
  • Act on it. Let calm become kindness: a helping hand, a listening ear, a thoughtful message.
  • Remember the “we”. When you finish a practice, take a moment to remember the people and communities you’re part of.

How little is enough

Next time you meditate, add one minute of loving-kindness at the end. Then look for one small way to be kind to someone that day.

For more, read Why mindfulness is important to your mental health.

There’s more in this spirit on the Guides page.