Positive thinking isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about seeing life honestly while choosing, where you can, to focus on what helps. Here are eight steps toward a more positive, and more realistic, way of thinking.

1. Notice where your attention goes

What you focus on shapes how you feel. Notice whether your attention tends to go to problems or possibilities.

2. Allow hard feelings

Positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring sadness, anger or fear. Let yourself feel them; they often pass more easily when they’re acknowledged.

3. Don’t believe every thought

Thoughts aren’t facts. When a harsh or worried thought comes up, ask, Is this definitely true?

4. Look for what you can learn, when it fits

Some difficult experiences teach us something; others are simply hard. Look for lessons when they’re there, without forcing meaning onto pain.

5. Practise gratitude

Noticing a few good things each day can gently shift your outlook.

6. Speak kindly to yourself

Use the voice you would use with a friend: encouraging and understanding.

7. Spend time with people who lift you

The people around you influence your mood. Make time for those who leave you feeling lighter.

8. Come back to the present

Much negative thinking is about the past or future. Coming back to the present moment, through your breath or senses, can bring relief.

Gentle positivity

Some days, positive thinking will feel natural; others, it will feel impossible. Be kind to yourself either way.

How little is enough

Choose one of these steps and practise it each day this week.

For more, read How to redirect your negative self-talk.

For a quiet place to write your way through this season, you’ll find a guided journal on the Guides page.