There are many reasons why you might not be living your life right now and be putting it on hold instead. None of them are ever good ones! Let’s look at the reasons why we might not be living in the present, and how to live our lives right now.
Reasons for putting your life on hold:
When we say that someone puts their life on hold, it means one thing – that person is waiting for something. What that something is, could be different for every person. Finding out why you are doing this is the first step to start living in the moment.
What are you waiting for?
Here are examples of why you might be postponing your life:
1. Waiting for the ‘next phase’
We are constantly evolving, and moving from one period of our lives into the next. Not living your life to the fullest whilst waiting for the time to pass is the worst way to waste years of your life not achieving your aspirations. These phases could include:
- Waiting till the kids have gone to college
- Needing to save up a certain amount of money
- Wanting to have paid off your mortgage
- Waiting until you have met the right person
- Hoping to be in better shape or better health
2. Needing everything to be perfect
Are you putting your life on hold waiting for ideal circumstances that may never arise? Have you ever wished to do something but decided to do it when you win the lottery? Life is rarely perfect, and so delaying goals until it is means you are postponing your life, perhaps indefinitely.
3. Longing for love
One of the most common reasons why people put their lives on hold is waiting for the perfect relationship. Not everybody wants to settle down and get married, of course, but so many of us think that life will ‘start’ once you find your happily ever after.
The fact is that you need to be happy in your skin before you worry about finding your perfect partnership.
4. Guilt at moving on
After something has happened which you feel the need to be forgiven for, or to seek closure from, avoiding to live your life is the worst decision to make. Without a resolution, it can feel difficult to move forward, but you need to take the first steps to keep moving on with your life and stop putting it on hold waiting for the last chapter to end.
Another reason you might be postponing your life is not being able to make a decision. If you have lots of goals and aspirations, but can’t decide which to prioritize you can get stuck in an endless cycle of hesitation until the time has passed by anyway and you haven’t achieved any of the things you set out to do.
Breaking the cycle – how to live your life right now
Once you have realized that you are putting your life on hold, you need a proactive plan to stop the cycle. Here are some ways to start living your life right now!
Sharing your plans with a friend, partner or collaborator is a great way to kick start action. Do you dream of getting fit, starting a new business, or going back to school?
Stop posponing your aspirations by finding a friend to join you on your journey, be part of a support group or enroll in a course to give you the accountability to stand by your decisions and make the first move.
Knowing why you refuse to live your life right now is a great way to stamp out those barriers that are holding you back. Take some time to analyze what it is you are waiting for, discuss with a friend or confidante, or seek help from a counselor to be able to walk away from your past into a brighter future.
Break down goals into actions
Having a huge goal can be daunting. Breaking it down into actionable steps is a way to digest the plan and stop avoiding living your life for fear that your aspirations are too lofty.
Want to take a step up on your career ladder? Take some night classes, learn a new language through an app, or look for a mentor to help you understand how to upskill and make the first decisions to start climbing that career ladder.
Avoiding living your life to the fullest to fulfill obligations is the same as putting yourself last. You only get one life, and delaying it because of responsibilities is a waste of valuable years.
Whilst responsibilities for dependents always come first, remember to schedule time for yourself into every day, no matter how busy your schedule. If you had one hour per day to do anything with you wish, what would it be? Think of your answer, and then do it.
Start now – right now!
It is all too easy to stay in your comfort zone and not rock the boat. No matter how small, the first step is always the hardest but proves to yourself your commitment to achieving something new.
Write a list, join a social media group or tell a friend what you want to do. Even just committing to an idea in your head will help solidify your intentions, and help kick start you mentally into working on yourself.