Ordinary noticing of a feeling is the whole thesis. Not a happiness strategy that guarantees a mood. Not an IQ you raise. Not a club of panache. Not a clinic that treats anger, fear, or a grey week from a paragraph.

The live title sold happiness strategies of emotionally intelligent people. I will not keep happiness as a guarantee. I will not keep intelligence as a rank. I will keep four weekday notes about how those slogans actually behave at a desk.

Three cousins already hold a different job. This URL does not clone them. Four rooms — not a contest with IQ: The four components of emotional intelligence more important than iq. Feeling is not an IQ you raise: How to raise your spiritual and emotional iq. Looking inward is not an IQ you raise: Why is intrapersonal intelligence important and how to develop it. Use this permalink when the search was happiness strategies of emotionally intelligent people.

I write as a public educator. Take one practice into the week, or none, and leave. If you wanted a coach, an EQ seminar, a panache certificate, a 1:1 who will make you happier at work, or a promise that five strategies treat a diagnosis, this is the wrong door — on purpose. New here? Start here. Who I am: About. Daily noticing: Wellness.

This page is not a rival ladder. Canon is nine movements on a spiral: The 9 stages of spiritual self realization. Naming a jaw on Monday is texture, not a tenth stage you fail.

This is not a happiness guarantee. Moods have weather. Some weather needs a clinician. If a feeling is larger than a grey week — a mood that will not lift, a body that is not safe, a mind that is planning harm — stop. That is a clinician. In a crisis, local emergency services, not this inbox. The rule sits on Disclaimer.

Four notes, not a happiness you must produce

You do not need all four. Number one is not holier than number four. Pick the slogan that is loud this Tuesday.

  1. Naming what you feel
  2. Courtesy without a compassion certificate
  3. A pause before the next sentence
  4. The next hour, not a past you must never visit

1. Naming what you feel

The live first strategy sold self-awareness as a tool that maintains high levels of happiness: identify what makes you negative; avoid self-criticism and self-pity; remind yourself of strengths; stop the self-deprecating monologue; focus on core strengths and triumphs.

I dropped awareness as a happiness machine. I dropped self-pity as a dunk. I dropped triumphs as a scoreboard. I will keep a smaller sentence: naming what you feel is allowed.

“I am tight in the jaw after that message” is a Tuesday. “I have identified my negativity and now I am happy” is a poster. You do not owe this page a list of who puts you down. A colleague can be loud without being a villain. Naming is not a purge.

What you may take: one honest name for a feeling already in the chair. Not a rank. Not a mood you must produce by naming it.

2. Courtesy without a compassion certificate

The live second strategy sold compassion as the only route to true satisfaction: care selflessly; wish others well with no expectations; emotional empathy builds rapport; strong caring feelings even for people you barely know make happiness grow by leaps and bounds.

I dropped selfless as a better-person certificate. I dropped empathy as a happiness product. I dropped leaps-and-bounds as a guarantee. I will keep: one courteous hour toward a person already in front of you is allowed.

You do not have to feel what a stranger feels in order to be decent. You do not have to become a saint on a lunch break. A shorter reply, a door held, a sentence that does not need to win — that is manners. It is not a fulfillment I issue from a library.

Self-compassion as courtesy, not a right way: What it means to be self compassionate and how to do it right. What you may take: one kind sentence that does not require a glow. Not a compassion club. Not a happiness you must grow.

3. A pause before the next sentence

The live third strategy sold managing reactions as control: use awareness to control your own emotions and those you interact with; without control you act inappropriately and thinking suffers; emotionally intelligent people have a sense of balance, composure, successful communication.

I dropped control of other people’s feelings as a skill I teach. I dropped inappropriate as a verdict from a paragraph. I dropped composure as a workplace product. I will keep: a pause before the next sentence is allowed.

The lunge is ordinary. A kettle that did nothing. A corridor already arguing with a meeting that has not started. A message you send and then cannot remember whether you were kind. A pause is not a personality. It is one breath, or the walk to the door, or the choice not to reply for ten minutes. You can still snap at 16:00. That is a person, not a failed EQ.

What you may take: one next sentence that waited. Not balance as a talent. Not a clinic that manages you.

4. The next hour, not a past you must never visit

The live fourth strategy sold surrounding yourself with positivity: know who triggers sadness; spend more time with positive people; achieve success and experience every bit of it; be high spirited; make life fun for those around you; stand apart from the crowd. The fifth stacked never dwelling in the past: learn and move on; failures do not define worth; do not get anxious or depressed over old problems; be passionate about what you learn for the long run.

I dropped the positivity surround as a law. I dropped toxic as a dunk. I dropped stand-apart as a club. I dropped never-dwell as a rule. I dropped anxious-or-depressed as a mood I sort from a blog. Grief, a medical history, a week that will not lift — those have clinicians. I will not tell you to stop visiting a past that still needs care.

I will keep two smaller sentences. One next hour with company you can actually stand is allowed. A shorter call still counts. You do not owe this page a purge of everyone who is difficult. And one next hour that is not a lecture about yesterday is allowed — without a ban on memory. Remembering a failure is not a personality flaw. Using it as the only story of the day is a loop you can name.

What you may take: one next hour, named honestly. Not a crowd you stand apart from. Not a past I forbid. Not a happiness I guarantee if you only look forward.

How little is enough

Pick one. One name for a feeling. One courteous sentence. One pause before the next reply. One next hour that is not a lecture. Not five strategies as a rank. Not happiness as a guarantee. Not an IQ. Not a clinic.

Feeling is not a product I raise from a library. I do not take 1:1 clients. There is no call to book. Leave with one practice, or with the Tuesday you already had.

Next: Wellness, The four components of emotional intelligence more important than iq, How to raise your spiritual and emotional iq, Why is intrapersonal intelligence important and how to develop it, What it means to be self compassionate and how to do it right, Start here, About, Disclaimer.


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This page is education, not medical advice, not a diagnosis, and not a treatment plan. I write as Ultimate Wellness, a public educator — not a doctor, not an HPCSA-registered dietitian, and not a therapist. I don’t take 1:1 coaching clients from this library; take one useful idea and use it. If you have a condition, take medication, or need care, please see your own clinician — more on Disclaimer.