Imagine living every day from a place of love. Not the dizzy rush of falling in love, but a steady warmth towards yourself, the people around you and life itself. Is that even possible?
The honest answer is that feelings come and go. No one feels loving every moment of every day. But love is more than a feeling. It’s also a choice, a practice and a way of seeing, and that’s something we can return to again and again.
Love as more than a feeling
The warm glow of love is wonderful, but it can’t be summoned on demand. On a tired, grumpy day, you might not feel loving at all. The good news is that you can still act lovingly. A patient word, a small kindness, a moment of listening. Often, the feeling follows the action.
What the traditions say
Many spiritual traditions describe love as the deepest truth of who we are. Christianity speaks of love as patient and kind. Buddhism teaches loving-kindness, or mettā. Taoism speaks of compassion as one of its three treasures. Each offers its own path, and you can explore whichever speaks to you, or simply notice the common thread. The 3 treasures of Taoism that lead to a happy life is a lovely place to start.
Practising love when the feeling has gone
Start with yourself. It’s hard to offer steady love to others if you’re constantly at war with yourself. Try speaking to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Loving yourself is easier than it seems has gentle ideas.
Notice the good in others. When someone irritates you, try to find one thing you appreciate about them. It doesn’t excuse unkindness, but it can soften your heart.
Offer small kindnesses. Hold a door, send a thoughtful message, really listen. Small acts of love ripple outward.
Practise gratitude. Gratitude and love are close cousins. Noticing what you’re thankful for naturally opens the heart.
Forgive yourself for forgetting. You’ll lose touch with love sometimes. Everyone does. The practice is simply coming back.
A direction, not a destination
Perhaps a constant state of love isn’t something we arrive at, but a direction we keep turning towards. Each time you choose kindness, patience or understanding, you take another step along that path.
How little is enough
Choose one loving act for today, towards yourself or someone else. Let that be enough. Tomorrow, choose another.
For a quiet place to write your way through this season, you’ll find a guided journal on the Guides page.