Holding onto the past can keep us stuck. Painful memories, regrets or old hurts can weigh on us long after events are over. Letting go takes time, but small steps can help you move forward.
Allow your feelings
Before letting go, you may need to feel what happened. Sadness, anger and grief are natural responses.
Learn what you can
Some experiences teach us about our values or boundaries. You don’t have to see every hard experience as a gift, but you can take what’s useful.
Forgiveness, when you’re ready
Forgiveness can free you from carrying resentment. It doesn’t mean excusing harm or forgetting what happened. And it can’t be rushed.
Naming harm isn’t weakness
If someone wronged you, it’s okay to say so. Acknowledging harm is not “playing the victim”. It’s being honest.
Focus on the present
When your mind drifts to the past, gently bring it back to what’s in front of you: your breath, your surroundings, the task at hand.
Try something new
New experiences can help you build a life that feels fresh, like a class, a trip or a hobby.
How little is enough
Write down one thing from the past you’d like to loosen your grip on, and one thing you’re looking forward to.
For more, read Clearing the attachments to past relationships.
For a quiet place to write your way through this season, you’ll find a guided journal on the Guides page.